My sweet Savannah:
You’re turning 12 today, and I’ve spent the last week or so wondering where the years have gone. How is it possible that my grandbaby is on the brink of being a teenager? Exactly where did the years go?
There are many things in this world is you should know. Your mother and father are doing a fine job of loving and raising you but I will inject a few wisdoms I have finally learned in my life...
1.There here are so many experiences in life that can leave you having regrets or that can leave you angry at the world and at people for years, if not a lifetime. Use those situations to fuel you to be better and do better. Learn to forgive others and yourself and count the situations that leave you hurt as lessons not losses. (Boy do I wish I would have learned this sooner)
2. People will do to you what you allow. If you don’t like something someone says or does to you, shut it down, even if you’re trembling while you tell them not to do it anymore. If you don’t say something, people will think what they are doing is acceptable, and they will keep on. If they continue saying or doing something you don’t like after you’ve told them how it makes you feel, that is a sure sign you don’t want to deal with that person because they don’t respect you. Limit your contact with them or move on.
3. You are valuable. Your thoughts matter. Your life matters. You matter. You deserve love and happiness, and you never, ever have to settle. Period.
4. Figure out what you like and pursue it with everything in you. It may not make you a lot of money, but it will bring you joy, which is much more valuable.
5. I spent so much time worrying about what other people thought of me. Sometimes you just need to dance like no one is watching, even if you’re off beat, look goofy or miss a few steps. So what if others laugh or talk about you? Don’t let that stop you from having fun.
6. How do you like your eggs? That’s one of the lines that sticks out to me from the movie Runaway Bride. The main character played by actress Julia Roberts never could seem to make it to the altar, even though she had been engaged several times. One of the questions another character asked of all the men who had proposed was how Julia liked her eggs. Each man had a different answer. It turns out Julia liked whatever they liked.
Don’t do this. Figure out the things you like and don’t like and what makes you tick. Who’s your favorite singer? Do you like to stay up late or wake up early? There are so many questions you can ask yourself, and some of the answers will change over time. That’s okay. Figuring out the answers means you will need to spend time alone sometimes, just thinking. That may mean taking a walk around the park, getting up early in the morning or eating lunch alone. Do those things sometimes. In order to be alone with yourself, this means you need to actually like yourself, so do what you need to do to really and truly like you.
7. We have not spent a lot of time together lately but I have learned that family is everything. Many times they know you as well as you know yourself. You have history with them, and they love you, faults and all. You don’t have siblings, but you have plenty of cousins, aunts and uncles. Call or text them just because, meet them for a meal, make a point of planning events with them so you all stay connected. After you have a family of your own, make them your top priority. Attend your kids’ events, have date nights with your husband, take family vacations, meet your friends for lunch.
However, as you get older, you may realize that family is not just defined by those with whom you share blood. You will have friends that will be closer to you than sometimes biological family. Value those relationships too.
8. Open your heart to loving and being loved. It may not come in the package that you have always dreamed. Be okay with that. While you are loving others, please remember to love yoursel first.
9. You are going to make mistakes. They are a part of life. If you hurt someone’s feelings, say I’m sorry. Make sure it’s sincere though. Don’t just say it because you think it’s what you’re supposed to say. If for whatever reason it doesn’t hit you until the distant future that you need to apologize, know there’s no time limit on it. It has been laid on my heart to apologize years after the fact. Also know that just because you say you’re sorry, it doesn’t mean the person will necessarily accept your apology or even want to deal with you again. You have to make peace with that.
10. Everyone is not meant to take the entire journey of life with you. I have some people in my life I have known since high school. I believe they would still have my back now just like they did then. On the flip side, there are people who I thought would always be a part of my life, but life has happened, and for so many reasons we have gone our separate ways. Don’t hold on to relationships that you know in your heart need to end. Be okay with walking away, no matter how much it hurts, and figure out the lessons you need to learn from those relationships. Know that someone better will come to fill that void.
11. If you want people to be nice to you, be nice to them. If you want people to acknowledge you, acknowledge them. Show kindness, pray for people, be a friend, keep secrets, don’t talk about folks, reach out and hug someone if you see they are in need of it. People are people, regardless of their race or religion. We all hurt, we all cry and laugh. Go with your gut and treat people the way you want to be treated.
Please know that every day of my life, I’ve tried to mirror these truths but may at times failed. I pray my actions & words will be a lesson for you.
I will part with these words...
Happy birthday, my sweet girl.
Thank you for the joy you bring to me. Know that I love you with everything I have in me, and I am blessed to be your Nana.
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