Given how indispensable a modern smartphone can be for someone who spends a great deal of time online, could losing or breaking one produce a psychological reaction that is essentially a form of grief?
Let me start by saying yesterday I lost my phone as we were shopping for groceries. However, I was not aware of it until a few hours after I arrive home. Then I was frantic!
It was rather funny because I seemed be experiencing severe emotional grief, my reactions conformed precisely to the five stages, in a short space of time.
Denial
When my phone was first lost, I couldn’t accept that this was possible. I’m careful with my phone(s), I keep them in a case, never drop them, I still had the screen guard on this one. I also hadn’t done anything to break it or loose it; it was in my pocket. Ergo, it couldn’t be lost. These phones cost a lot of money and are very advanced. How could it be “lost” possibly gone forever? It’s ridiculous.
My psychologically defence mechanisms had kicked in, so the loss of my phone was clearly a big deal.
Anger
When it sunk in that my phone was lost, I got very angry about the whole thing.You may scoff at the idea of getting angry about something as trivial as a phone. I would have agreed until very recently. And my intense reactions showed that, despite my own protestations, I clearly didn’t consider my phone trivial.
I had looked after my phone. I’d never damaged one before, or let alone irreparably lost. I’ve seen many friends with phones so battered you’d think they been using them as Frisbees. I’ve even seen one use his phone as a coaster! Putting a device worth hundreds of dollars at risk to preserve the integrity of a bar table? These people should have broken phones or lost phones, not me. I’d looked after my phone and paid a large amount for a decent model, so for mine to be lost wasn't fair! And unfairness is one thing that's bound to make you angry.
Bargaining
Once I’d calmed down a bit, I decided that I’d call my phone and see if anyone answered it. I’d never heard of devices being answered by someone that may have found it. I could call every place I had gone to see if anyone had turned it into someone. Failing this, I considered go back to an older phone I had before. Exactly how this deal would be of benefit to me is something I’ve still not figured out. I then started explaining my situation to those around me, in case they knew a solution to my problem. Obviously, none were forthcoming. Eventually, I was reduced to going out to the car and looking to see if I could find it maybe fallen inside or on the ground as I had gotten out. If I ever compile the 10 most dignified moments of my life, I very much doubt this will be on that list.
Depression
Once my bargaining had failed, I got depressed. Not proper clinical depressed, just sorry for myself. I felt that if I couldn’t keep a phone safe from harm despite my best efforts, there was no way I could be trusted with anything more important or valuable. I also thought of the potential consequences of my being out of contact for what might be several days. All my Facebook friends, my email contacts, my actual real-world friends and family whom I text with regularly; what would they do without my constant presence in their lives? And it dawned on me fairly quickly that they would do nothing different. Many probably wouldn’t even notice. I might get a few “You were gone?” replies when I regain access to the online world, but nothing would be any different without me.
Nothing makes you feel more insignificant than realizing that that’s what you actually are.
Acceptance
This all happened while I was away in Springfield, so from now on I would have to make my way home without the benefit of constant internet access. I had to figure out the paper maps just by looking at them if I needed to go anywhere. I would have to remember where I’d been and the directions to return there. I had to read a book rather than use the internet, like some sort of Neanderthal. It was refreshing. It was reassuring. It was oddly soothing. I considered whether I really wanted to get another phone at all, as without it I was able to really appreciate my surroundings and interact with them on a more visceral level, giving me an expanded worldview and deeper understanding of what it truly means to be human. What! Am I crazy? I quickly decided I would have to buy another phone; I’m clearly more dependent on it than is healthy. But look at the insufferable arse I turn into without it!
Surprise! Surprise! as I tried to one more last ditch effort to locate my phone, My main sqeeze (Jim) called my phone one last time and a person answered it. I had left (dropped it) in the grocery dept at Walmart. So of course, I rushed my arse back to Walmart and pick up my beloved phone.
Rejoicing Again,
Nana
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