Have you heard super snacks are the only dietary choice to give you actual superpowers.
Supersnackasaurus Inc. is breaking through science an giving you the dream... Other snacks may promise things, like health and taste and natural ingredients. They promise you will be able to rip the backbone out of a mountain goat and fly faster than a ape attached to a supersonic Jet.
Yeah. How’s that for marketing? Physically speaking, the transformation will be epic. Three months of eating Super Snacks will make you like those tanned, muscled Beach Olympia competitions.
Yep... This mutant could be you— They don’t have to do anything to prove our product. No commercials or free giveaways or information booths. They simply reference the woman on the news who single handedly battled five sharks and a school of whales. If you look very closely, you’ll see she’s wearing one of their hats. She is a fiesty ninety year old granny.
Her grandchildren have no idea what to do with all of the cookies she makes, not to mention her hugs, which are intense and go anywhere from a minute to two hours if she does not break their necks first.
Some have said Super Snacks taste like a Jelly Bean you find in the couch.
The chemical structure has so crystalized it’s more of a sugary pebble that makes you hallucinate. But their bar has the benefit of being shoved full of so many artificial ingredients it irradiates anything within a two-foot radius of your organs. Why would anyone want to eat something the FDA has deemed “diabolical” and “not guaranteed to make you a superhero”?
Are you listening? You heard you get to be a superhero. You can lift a fifteen-story building. You can walk through walls and spit acid and do a lot of other stuff! Remember that only through consuming this product can you become the freak evolution intended you to be.
Well on second thought I will just stick with my Jello!
Have a good day and I hope this put a smile on your face today!
Nana
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