3/3/2019 Thoughts Of A Granny On A Winter's Day...

Things To Think About (How Crazy Life Is)

1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Yep a majority of the youths today plus their parents are buried in the Internet...

By the way... "Thank You for reading this on the internet!"

2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. You have to admit you find yourself laughing when anything falls down!

3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

Most of all I'm not that into work to nope not going to happen if this old gal can help it!

4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

My philosophy is as Hunter S. Thompson said:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. From kids to adults the dining table always was an exciting place in our family. Starting at 2 years old I whopped some hefty potatoes into my dad's lap. Don't think that didn't start a commotion!

6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Never see the little green men anymore either!

7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

Yes I'm sure that is where they are really looking!

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Hey I have heard breathing does do wonders for the complexion

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Definitely true this morning in Southern Missouri. Weather people calling for 3 to 6 inches of white stuff but as luck would have it not much more than a healthy skiff. So no criticism here for the call!

10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Would love to have all those actual dollars in my wallet! 11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. Crazier things have happened but I will wait to verify this statement!

12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

And... actually your overall enjoyment and cost ratio would be better to stick to the oldest Profession.

13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. I can only theorize on this...

14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? If you are depending on me to get a campfire going and dinner cooked, you had better hope they delivery pizza there!

15. You read about all these terrorists-most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.

Now, compare that to Department of Agriculture keeping track of cattle all over the world. Down to what farm each cow is from. I say let's let Department of Agriculture be in charge of Immigration & Homeland Security!