The older I get, the more I worry about my health. Like most young fools at 20, I thought I’d live forever—always healthy, no wrinkles, no gray hair, hot body. I’d be the first to get out of this world alive, well, and beautiful. Thirty-some years later, I’m here to tell you that’s not going to happen.
I’m happy to say that I am, for the most part, somewhat healthy. If you don't count that Pulmonary Embolism in 2017. Still, I have more aches and pains than I used to. I never feel 100% comfortable any more. My back or knee may ache for a few days and as soon as that feels better, I’ll develop a an ache on my little toe. A week limping and my foot feels fine, but anothe ache creeps up somewhere else.
I’ve noticed that lately it doesn’t take much for me to injure myself. Last week, I bent over to pick up a paper on the floor and pulled something. Guess I won’t lift anything that heavy again.
For a mostly healthy old gal, I’ve gotten to know a lot of doctors in the past few years. When I was growing up, we had one family doctor. Dr. Allen could fix anything from acne to a heart attack. There were no referrals to dermatologists or cardiologists. Dr. Allen did it all. If he couldn’t fix you . . . well, you suffered and then you died. He removed ruptured appendices, performed tonsillectomies, and even did most other surgeries you needed.
The dentist in a nearby town was Dr. Popejoy. I remember him well. He didn’t believe in using Novocain. I’m not sure if he was a sadist or just figured if he hurt me enough I’d remember to brush my teeth. At any rate, if you had a dental problem, Dr. Popejoy would fix it. He’d either drill it and fill it or yank it out.
These days, there seems to be a specialist for every ailment. It takes a separate phone book just to list all the doctors. There’s a special dentist for every part of the mouth. I’ve seen different dentists to fill cavities, pull teeth, fix my roots, cut my gums, and straighten smiles. There are special doctors for corneas, ankles, hands, feet, skin, bones, hair loss, weight gain, nerves, tops, bottoms, insides, outsides, front ends, and rear ends. The list could go on for pages.
For all my little aches and pains, I’ve been lucky, so far. I don’t have to take any prescription medications. The Doctor has me on a one a day vitamin and low dose aspirin.
Since apparently only older geezers watch the evening news, the advertisements are almost exclusively for drugs. Just as there are doctors for every ailment, there seems to be a drug for every condition. You’d think there was money to be made fixing sick people. Watching these commercials, I don’t think I want to take any of these medications. The potential side effects are terrifying! At the end of each commercial there is always someone listing all the bad stuff the drug can do while treating your illness.
“While taking "thisprovtsalotufool", you may experience incontinence, problems with bladder control, or other leakages.” Heck, I experience that just listening to the ad. “If you develop bleeding from the eyes, nose, mouth, or ears, become paralyzed, develop loss of memory, vision, hearing, or taste, or have difficulty breathing or swallowing, contact your doctor. These side effects may not be a good thing.” Ya think?
“If you are taking an antidoxythyrobenzochorazine inhibitor blocker, you should not take "thisprovtsalotufool.” Do you really think I’d know it if I was taking that drug if I was taking prescription drugs?
My so far have not had my blood pressure creeps up yet but I’m sure I’ll may have to join the millions on drugs eventually. I’m imagining the first follow-up visit with my doctor to see how the ‘‘thisprovtsalotufool.” is working.
Doc: “So, Diana, how are you feeling?”
Me: “Well Doc, since I’ve been taking the medication, I vomit every morning, have frequent nosebleeds, can’t sleep, have difficulty breathing, and I’ve developed various leakages.”
Doc: “But the medication is working. Your blood pressure is down to 127/75.”
Me: “Oh, and Doc, I’ve suddenly developed the urge to eat pickles.”
Take Care...
Nana
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