Today was the time for my annual mammogram.
There was no need to worry I've come up with plan that only takes a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, I was totally prepared for the test, and best of all, I did these simple practice exercises right in my home.
EXERCISE 1: Open the refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Had one of my strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Held that position for five seconds. Repeated (just in case the first time wasn't effective).
EXERCISE 2: Visited my garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Took off all my clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Asked a friend to slowly back the car up until my breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switched sides, and repeated for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3: Froze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invited a stranger into the room. Had the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of my breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as they can.
I set an appointment with this stranger to meet next year to do it again.
I was absolutely properly prepared! 🤣
Nana
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