As I sit in retrospect on these days that the lucky ones are alive, I realize there have been things that has shaped my life early on as a young adult. Like listening to the words of a sage grandmother who had lived a full life, watching my mother, father, brother, sister, nephews and grandparents leave all too soon.
Then there was a day after my husband passed that a friend opened the bottom drawer of her sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue - wrapped package. "This," she said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." she discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. She said "Nancy bought this the first time she went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago.
She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is the occasion."
She took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes she was taking to the mortician.
Her hands lingered on the soft material for a moment. Then she slammed the drawer shut, turned to me and said, "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped her and her niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death.
I thought about them as I returned from that Midwestern town where her sister's family lives.
I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.
I still think about my friend's words, and how they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less.
I'm sitting on the porch and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the yard.
I'm spending as much time as possible during these days with my family and friends and less time in worrying about things that don't matter.
Something I tried to tell my mother all to late until one day in her cancer treatment she confess she was sorry that she did not listen to me. She regretted not taking time to enjoy her family instead of worrying about her white glove test on the house.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure.
I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything;
I actually use my good china and crystal for every special event, such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first flower blossom.
I wear my good clothes to the grocery store if I like, my theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $38.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing.
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as anyone.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.
If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing,
I want to see and hear and do it now!
I'm not sure what my friend's sister, my own family members and other countless people I've known would've done had they had known that they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted.
I think they would have called family members or their close friends.
They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles.
I like to think they would have gone out for their favorite dinner. I'm guessing - I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make us angry if we knew that the hours were limited.
Angry because we put off seeing good friends whom we were going to get in touch with - someday.
Angry because we hadn't called those we intended to talked to - one of these days.
Angry and sorry that we didn't tell our family often enough how much we truly loved them.
I'm now trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to my life and others.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.
Enjoy ya life ya'll...
LOVE & LIVE!
Take Advantage Of Every Opportunity!
Nana
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