Things I learned these 66 years about marriage & after the loss of my dear husband...
I now realize that we have things all backward when we talk to... The Dating, The Engaged, The Married,
We say: “Just wait. It’ll get worse when you’re married.” “Just wait until you’ve been married for a year…” “Just wait until the seven year itch…“ “Just wait until you’ve been married as long as I have…”
The “just wait until…” scale seems to be sliding further and further away no matter how long you’ve been married.
My husband, Carl, and I were married three months short of 36 years and I am
determined to tell anyone who will listen just how amazing marriage can be! Marriage is a gift from God!
We hear: “Oh, you’re engaged? Congratulations, but just wait for marriage…” or “Oh, you’re newlyweds? Congratulations, but just wait until after the ‘honeymoon’ phase…”
These are messages delivered with a sense of impending doom.
At work or elsewhere, these “just waits” are often accompanied by comments about “the old ball and chain,” snide remarks about spouses, and all kinds of dubious marriage advice.
I guess we had our troubles over the years but we did come to disagree with this advice.
I can not say we knew everything and boy did we make mistakes.
However, we did learn more and more about one another and about married life every day for over 35 years.
To those who are engaged, to those who are dating, to those who believe their vocation is to one day get married, to those who have already spoken those vows, take heart:
Marriage is an amazing, life changing, ridiculously fun adventure!
I’m on a mission: God created me to love and sacrifice my life if necessary for my man.
He created my man to be my perfect match and for those whom God calls to the vocation of marriage,
He’s created a perfect match for all of you as well.
Forget anything you’ve heard from people who’ve become disillusioned and instead “just wait” for the joy, the excitement, the laughter, and the sheer fun of what’s to come!
For Instance Just Wait… until you come home and your husband, who has just come home to you, has the fire going in the wood stove, Christmas lights plugged in and expedited hot dinner ready for you.
Just wait…until you come home to a house full of balloons and a gigantic card on your birthday and you realize how hard your he worked to see your joy and that he’s been planning this moment for a long time.
Just wait… until the first snow since you’ve been married and your he goes outside and creates a huge heart in the road to show you from the window.
Just wait… until your wife hatches a plan to build a porch for your parents and you remember how much you love her and her compassion.
Just wait… until you find the love note he hid around the house for you to find during the day.
Just wait… until you get to open your lunch bag to read the love note she wrote you that morning.
Just wait… until your husband comes home from work and the first thing he does is literally run, to find you, wrap his arms around you and give you a “hello” kiss.
Just wait… until you see your wife hovering at the door as you come home, with a huge smile on her face, so happy to see you, and she surprises you with a scrumptious meal, a clean house, and plans for the future: fruit of a grueling day while you were away, and all out of love.
Just wait… until your husband pulls a dozen beautiful multicolored flowers from behind his back, in the middle of the week, for no other reason than he loves you and knows you love surprises.
Just wait… until when you serve food for the two of you and he insists you have the warmer dinner, the choicest portion of meat, and the bigger cookie, just because he loves to see you smile.
Just wait… until he changes his routine and brings his tasks over to work with you on the couch because he knows you enjoy his presence.
Just wait… until you two really realize for the first time that you are not just “her” family, not just “his ” family, but your own family.
Just wait… until your husband tells you every day that you’re his most beautiful bride and he’s the luckiest guy in the world.
Just wait… until she giggles every time you act goofy and you do it just to make her smile.
Just wait… until your husband hold his baby for the first time, and he instantly melts, and you are reminded for the billionth time how good of a dad he will be and is to your children.
Just wait… until you see your wife cradling your infant in her arms, and she instantly knows everything to do to calm them, and you are reminded for the billionth time how good of a mom she is to your children.
Just wait… because you have so much joy ahead of you… love, companionship, laughter and a rock to anchor to when the storms of life occur.
Nana
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