Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken-crossing-the-road joke is maybe actually super dark and messed up, guys. The chicken crossed the road because he wanted to die. Because in crossing the road he got hit by a car, and in so doing made it to... the other side. AKA the afterlife. He crossed over. Into the afterlife. Into death. OR IS IT? Other people argue that the joke is not anywhere near as morbid as all that. That it's just a dumb non-joke: The chicken crossed

1. You know you can remove marks on wood furniture using a walnut. Cut it in half and rub it into the scratch. Pecans, Brazil nuts and almonds all work fine too. After you rub the nut across the furniture, rub the area with your fingers. This will help the oils from the nut soak into the surface of the wood. Buff it with a cloth, and done. 2. To shine up your wood with a quick and easy home mixture instead of furniture polish. Just grab some olive oil and lemon juice and mix

How did you'll choose your children’s names? Elizabeth was the name I knew I wanted for my first born. From the time we knew I was pregnant that name was top of my list. Actually the idea came from a time when I was a 10 year old child. It was fully formed by the time we moved from Juniper Lane where our neighbor's golden haired gorgeous child resided. I just knew I would have one day my very own beautiful daughter and that dignified and beautiful name would be for my waiting

Trying my hand at writing some of my own five-line poems to celebrate National Limerick Day. Limericks are quirky, funny poems in which the first two lines rhyme with the fifth line, and the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other. Here goes... There once was a wonderful car Who thought he would go very far Until he broke down And looked for a town He knew he would not now go far. Ok, I won't quit my Day Job... Oh! wait a minute, I don't have a job. Boy I'm up the stream

The weather was wonderful today. I ran into town just in time to catch the parade. It was not a elaborate as I expected but it entertained me for about a hour. Then it was lunch at McDonald's. A wonderful day anyway! Nana

No not what you are thinking. It's about a place that just feels like home. It about comfort food and smiles. It is said once you dined with someone of Greek heritage you become family. It must be true because I have been eating with the Arris Family since I was a young college girl in Jefferson City. Every paycheck was Arris pizza night for this young struggling gal. I became family and Arris has become my place to celebrate good times and bad, times when struggling their pi

Have you ever looked outside the window while sipping coffee, and wondered, “what do my thoughts and opinions do to me?” Your answer mostly is “they make me more informed and educated.” But do they really? Years ago, I had friends that were a one-eyed king among the blind. They didn’t know better, so I revered them. But the need to harbor shallow but diverse opinions meant they couldn’t develop deeper perspectives about a single subject. They had opinions about everything, bu

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. Chocolate also contains milk which is dairy. So candy

The things you think about late at night... A delicate subject but as we all know Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. A little humor to articulate the differences for today's laugh... Women 1.) Under no circumstances, use any other toilet than your own, regardless of any stomach pain may be caused while waiting to get home. 2.) With the toilet-brush, clean any residue left on the pot by your boyfriend/husband. Also, wipe off the seat with some toilet paper. 3.) Flush

As I woke this morning I realized my days of sandwiches with my Kato Diet are over. So it was only be fitting I write an obit for them. A Death To My Sandwiches A we gather today to say goodbyes to my sandwiches we will take time to remember all of their parts that made them the sandwiches they were! First we taste the tangy excitement of the onion followed quickly by the rush of Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato or maybe Ham, Turkey, or even Corn Beef. Followed by the slightest blush o

"From a strictly mathematical viewpoint: What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1

I ran across another BBQ in Bolivar that I had never tried so... I popped in for a visit yesterday. Oh boy... it was good. It will definitely be a repeat thing! Fantastic flavor and their homemade ranch dressing was fabulous. Since my diet is going for earnest I enjoyed the smoked pulled pork with no bbq sauce or and just a salad. It was a treat! Then it was on to Lowes to finish buying a few items for my DIY stair lift. Errands and on home before it rained. A productive da

Almost heaven, Southern Missouri, Ozark Mountains, Paradise Cove Acres... Life is old there, older than the trees Younger than the mountains, growin' like weeds... Country roads, take me home To the place I belong Southern Missouri, Mountain Mama Take me home, country roads All my memories gather 'round there Biker lady, no stranger to buzzing street lights Dark and dusty, painted on the sky Misty taste of cold sweet water, teardrop in my eye Country roads, take me home To th

These are things handed down from a old wise fix-it up genie... or that is what I have heard anyway. There are only 10 things in this world you need to fix any car, any place, any time. 1.) Duct Tape: Not just a tool, a veritable Swiss Army knife in stickum and plastic. It's safety wire, body material, radiator hose, upholstery, insulation, tow rope, and more - in an easy to carry package. Sure, there's prejudice surrounding duct tape in professional competitions, but in th

Prison vs Work studies show some interesting comparisons. Who knew all these years I might have been better off in prison. IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle. IN PRISON... you get three meals a day. AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it. IN PRISON... you get time off for good behaviour. AT WORK... you get more work for good behaviour. IN PRISON... the guard

They say life is a highway and we all travel our own roads, some good, some bad, yet each is a blessing of its own. It's the ride of life, the journey from here to there living and loving every moment like we have none to spare. Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost. Ride along with me as I navigate the wind & road on this beautiful May 1st. Nana

Baskin-Robbins The logo for the famous ice cream chain has colors and font that seem like a child coloring book but the real fun part is there is a hidden message. The color-blocking adds to the children's style, but if you look closely and you’ll see the pink is meant to emphasize a “31” for the original 31 flavors that Baskin-Robbins opened with in 1948. It makes sense why, to this day, they still want to emphasize the 31 flavors. They were the first ice cream parlor to in

“Fake news” has its roots, in the birth of William Randolph Hearst on this day... April 29, 1863. You know that guy who built at least one castle in California. Hearst was given the San Francisco Examiner by his father, George, a miner who had become a multi-millionaire and US Senator. He would later move to New York City and acquire the New York Journal. As he fought bitter circulation war with Joseph Pulitzer's New York World, the age of yellow journalism was then born. As

There’s something about a long-simmered pot of pinto beans that warms your soul. I was always taught that when cooking with dry beans, the first thing you always want to do is to pick through them. What you’re looking for are any beans that are shriveled, super dark, or otherwise appear off. You should also be on the lookout for any small rocks or other inedible debris that might have found its way into the bag. The next step is a nice, long soak—depending on who you ask. Soa

Today is a very special day... On this day it's your birthday and also the 18th anniversary you gave us a new identity; as grandparents to you, Lucas! Papa was as so proud of you and would have loved to watch you grow up. I have to do that now for him. I love being your grandma. I thank God for you being born into our family. You have a direct roadway to our hearts. Happy birthday, my sweet Lucas! May God always give you the strength to overcome any difficulty and keep you f